Bessie the cast iron skillet that broke my will

A couple years ago, in an attempt to be more like Laura Ingalls, I impulsively bought a cast iron skillet at the wallsmart while shopping one day.

I knew the basics of cast iron - don't stick it in the dishwasher.
That was about it.

So it basically started out with points against it.

I made a few acceptable things out of it.  For example, I like to cook rolls in it in the oven.  They turned out fat and fluffy. Kinda like me. 

I had a hard time keeping the seasoning.  Probably because I was hell bent on using dish soap to clean it - to hell with 200 years of pioneers ahead of me.  I wanted that beoytch clean!

Finally, the ultimate slap in the cast iron skillet's face (actually it was my face), was when the skillet was left sitting on my light colored granite counter top for an entire weekend.
Right next to the sink.
Where it was wet.

I still bemoan the rust color in my counter top.  It took me months and months to get it to the level where only *I* can see it. (If you're wondering, Oxiclean is the answer.  You'll have to spread it on, put plastic over it and leave it for a few DAYS).

Just for the record, the person that left it there has a penis.
He's still apologizing for it.

So because of how pissed I was, I went back to my good old Paula Deen teflon pans and relegated the cast iron slag hag to the cabinet with the roaster.  I vowed to only take it out when I had enough people over that I had to run 4 burners at one time. 

Which is never.

*insert a year here*

The one day, I was reading online about teflon, and how it's really not that good for you.  Especially when the bottom of your pan looks all "fluffy".

Oh hey Paula Deen.  You kinda let me down there.
I don't fault her really.  Like EVERY damn teflon pan eventually does that no matter how careful you are.

So sadly and begrudgingly, I threw away my super favorite saute pan that I used for pretty much everything, and dug back out old Bessie the beoytch that stains your counters when you're not watching.

It was like she peed a ring of rust around my stove to lay claim to her territory.  Or maybe she just wet herself when she got close to the sink and saw the dish soap.  Kinda like my cat does.

Regardless, I vowed to live a ever so slightly better life by letting some iron leech into my food on a regular basis.  This means Bessie and I will have to come to an understanding.

I understand that:
1. I have to fry bacon once in a while so that seasoning stays nice and shiny.
2. Dish soap is bad. *shiver*  I use hot water and a scrubby pad and that seems to be working.
3. Towel dry only.  This means immediately.  Not on Monday after a weekend of partying on T-bones for dinner and bacon for breakfast.  Like... now.

I vow I will never:
1. Put her in the dishwasher.
2. Leave her unwashed for a few days.
3. SET HER ON THE COUNTERTOP.

Here's the deal though.  I feel like I'm having to put more oil into my food which I DO NOT NEED.  So, my question to you is this - give me your best tips on cooking in cast iron.

Which really isn't a question, really more of a commandment.
Unless I put a question mark on the end....

Give me your best tips on cooking in cast iron?

Makes me sound less bossy but kind of spineless.
Which is exactly how a cast iron skillet on my counter has made my husband feel.

Tried and True - Banana Bread

Every once in a while, I get on a banana kick and have to have one or 7. But here's the deal, bananas have to be JUST RIGHT before I'll eat them. "Just right" means that they are slightly green, firm and a tiny bit bitter. Once they get a brown spot on them from the ripening process, I'm out!

The thing is, you often end up with a pile of really brown bananas that even GENE refuses to eat. That man will eat pretty much anything before he'll let it go in the trash. Canned peaches from 2006 and frozen freezer burnt wings from our wedding anyone?

Soooo, if I buy too many bananas, I have to make banana bread or risk a mild heart attack when he sees them in the garbage bin.

I decided that I'd probably need to make some banana bread or shoo away some blow flies.

I picked banana bread.

I have a pretty tried and true banana bread recipe I've been using for um... 20 years now. (as you can see from the many stains on that page). I received this cookbook as a wedding gift (the first time around) and it's one of the few things I still have and use from back then. My best friend's mom was on that cookbook committee and this was her go-to gift for a few years.

I'm not going to show every single step of the process, but I did want to make a point. Recently I read someone say that they never put the cup into the flour and press the flour into the measuring cup, they SPOON it in and it makes much nicer breads.

Hmmm.

I tried it, and it's kinda true! Think about it, if you press it into your cup, you'll force more flour into the measuring cup.

I'm also a very fly by the seat of my pants kind of cook. Maybe that comes from getting old experienced. I usually only use one measuring cup so I don't have to wash more. I eyeball the measurements.

oops

Don't forget to cream the sugar with the eggs and shortening. I seem to ALWAYS put the sugar in with the dry ingredients (I even had to make myself a note.. see up there?)

Which is funny considering I accidentally did it again.

Mash your bananas. Again, flying by the seat of my pants. I put in the amount of bananas I HAVE. if I have 2, it's 2. If I have 4, it's 4.

Stir only until all the dry ingredients are moist. If you made it out of high school home ec, you should know that. But if you don't, then I'm telling you it's the fastest way to make your bread peak to high and crack.

It's still edible though. ;)

I stole the idea of using a bundt pan from Pioneer Woman's banana bread recipe. I made hers a few times but it made SO MUCH (4 cups of flour?) that it flowed over and made a mess in my oven. I'm still smelling burn banana bread when I cook.

You'd think I'd clean it out.

bwahahaha.

Mmmmmm... delicious.

or as my oldest used to say when he was little "kulicious"

I didn't wait for Gene to get home. I did all the work after all, shouldn't I be rewarded? I mean, if it wasn't for me and a few blow flies, there'd be no banana bread at all!!

srsly.

Warm melty butter and life is complete.


Geraldine's Banana Bread:
1 3/4 cup flour
2 3/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup shortening
2/3 cup sugar
2 eggs (beaten)
1 cup mashed bananas
1/2 cup nuts (optional)

Mix dry ingredients together and set aside (not the sugar!) Mash bananas with fork, measure and set aside also. Beat shortening with sugar and eggs until fluffy. Add flour mixture; alternate with mashed bananas. Add nuts. Mix only until dry ingredients are moist. Pour into a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350 deg for 40 minutes.

(Geraldine actually said 1 hour 10 min but that's WAY too long in my modern day oven!)

***********************

In other news, I lost internet again for a couple days. I'm pretty sure some day I'm going to snap, burn down my ISP and kill all their dogs.

fer reals.

Good Eats - Seafood Clomp

Gene and I recently ended a little challenge. Actually, it was my idea and he kinda got dragged into it. You see, with him being off work for 8 weeks, there was a loss of income. I really wanted to challenge myself to see if I could come up with that lost income in other ways.

We've sold a few things on eBay, gotten a rebate, a tax return, etc. All the while, I'm doing calculations in my head. No worries, we're not destitute or anything, I just thought it would be nice to not "worry" about any savings diminishing. Plus it was a fun challenge.

The biggest thing I decided at the beginning of July, was to see if we could go the ENTIRE month of July without buying groceries.

Why yes, I AM serious, why do you ask?

I knew it was possible. We had just bought an Angel Food Ministries package, and because of my husband and his love for anything meat, my freezer was pretty full. Plus, weeks before, I had bought about 50 cans of canned goods on a really good sale.

The potential was high that we might be eating freezer burnt chicken wings left from the wedding (2 years ago) but I wanted to give it a shot.

Gene agreed, but only with a few rules. We could restock these items:

1. Cereal (we eat about 2-3 boxes A WEEK. We like cereal)
2. Milk (read the cereal part)
3. Seed bread direct from the bakery - they only make 1-2 loaves per day.
4. chips - Gene has a serious chip fetish. I don't know how he doesn't way 900 pounds. Jerk.

He played along, and only a couple times did we cave when we were tired of fish sticks and green beans.

So to celebrate today, we went to the grocery store and shopped like pot smoking 17 year olds. In fact, I got the "eyeball" on my cart at least 3 times. There were chips (duh), 2 packages of cookies, some bagels and something we've been wanting to try... a big package of mixed seafood.

Yeah, really.

A few years ago, I would have said "RALPH" and moved on, but I've been adventurous lately and want to try new recipes I made up myself.

So, I give you our creation. Not sure what the name is, so how about "Seafood Creation"
{I'm creative like that.}

Cook 1/2 pound Penne Past - al dente.

In a seperate skillet, add about 2 tablespoons virgin olive oil and a pound of seafood medley - we found ours on a shelf in the *very small* seafood section of Walmart. It has squid, octopus, crab and shrimp. Ours was pre-cooked, so I'm just heating it.

I added around 1/2 pound of broccoli, but you could do any other vegetable you liked. Ours was from frozen. I covered it and let it simmer for about 5 minutes. I also added about a teaspoon of garlic powder at this point, but I think for the next time, I would use around 2 teaspoons. {I really like garlic! - said with a hissing, stinky, garlicy voice}


Now for my super secret ingredient:
{shhhhhh}

{LOL, this feels like a product shot for some reason}

Saturday I made a white pizza and used half a jar of Ragu alfredo for the sauce on the pizza (very good btw), I used the rest of the jar for this recipe. Actually 1/2 jar was really good, not too much sauce and covered everything well.

Stir in the pasta and mix/heat well.

I served it with seed bread (because that's what we do around here) and it was very yummy. I actually quite liked it, it wasn't "too" fishy tasting (I'm not a big seafood fan really). Gene didn't think it was seafood-ish enough.

But he's a killjoy so whatever on him.

... and since you were wondering... mmmmm Octopus!

Effective advertising - showing you how it's done right.

I realized something over this past couple weeks. It's not earth shattering, or a giant secret, but as someone that loves marketing it did make me laugh.

Strawberries, the beautiful little creatures they are, pretty much advertise themselves. Sure, there's the bright red color that flashes as you walk by, and the cute little green top like a lop sided hat, but mostly, it's the smell.

Twice in the last couple weeks, just walking through the grocery store minding my own business I pass the strawberries. I notice the price, or the color, and say "not today" and then it hits me. Kinda like a cartoon where you can see the smell lifting into the air and waving across the store until it goes straight up my nose, then I turn and float back through the air like a magic carpet. I then buy one, two or twelve packages.

Yep. Strawberries pretty much sell themselves.

Think about it. When was the last time you saw a superbowl ad for strawberries?

Review - Angel Food Ministries

I wanted to tell you about a program, that you may have never heard of. It's called Angel Food Ministries.

Here's an excerpt from their website:
"Angel Food Ministries is a non-profit, non-denominational organization dedicated to providing food relief and financial support to communities throughout the United States. The program began in 1994 with 34 families in Monroe, Georgia (between Atlanta and Athens), and has grown to serve hundreds of thousands of families every month across 44 states. Angel Food Ministries crosses denominational lines and has spread the good news of the gospel of Christ through salvation tracts that are placed in each food order.

Blessings by the box
Angel Food is available in a quantity that can fit into a medium-sized box at $30 per unit. Each month's menu is different than the previous month and consists of both fresh and frozen items with an average retail value of approximately $60. Comparison shopping has been done across the country in various communities using a wide range of retail grocery stores and has resulted in the same food items costing from between $42 and $78.

Generally, one unit of food assists in feeding a family of four for about one week or a single senior citizen for almost a month. The food is all the same high quality one could purchase at a grocery store. There are no second-hand items, no damaged or out-dated goods, no dented cans without labels, no day-old breads and no produce that is almost too ripe.

Also offered are specialty boxes such as steaks, chicken and pork. Many participants in this bonus program appreciate the expanded choices. Additionally, there is no limit to the number of units or bonus foods an individual can receive, and there are no applications to complete or qualifications to which participants must adhere. Angel Food Ministries also participates in the U.S. Food Stamp program, using the Off-Line Food Stamp Voucher system.

It's both a Bargain and a Blessing!"



I'd heard of this many years ago, and had never taken the time to try it out. You don't have to be on assistance, or poor. Anyone can participate. However, if you are having a hard time, this would be a good way to help make ends meet.

About a month ago, I went to the website again for the 20th time, and saw that they now did online ordering. This was a great option (it costs just a little bit more to do it this way to help defray costs), as it would otherwise mean 2 trips to a special location and I just would never remember twice!

I decided to buy the basic signature pack and we picked it up. I wanted to see how long it would last us (a family of three) and for $30, it fed us supper every single night (and a few lunches for Gene) for over a week. Honestly, we could easily spend this out in a mediocre restaurant for one meal!

There was nothing in it that did not taste good (ok, there was a frozen dinner that I should have doctored up a bit with some extra pasta), everything was very fresh tasting, and we even found a couple things we liked enough that we would start buying them in the store ourselves.

If you are having a hard go at life, and need a little extra wiggle room, $30 might feed you (an individual) for an entire month - not including breakfast items. If you are not having a hard go at life, but are on a budget, or would rather just save your money, then this program might be for you too.

To top it all off, they asked if we had any concerns or prayer needs, which caught us off guard, but shouldn't have considering we were doing our pick up in a church. So if you need a little help in that department too, I'm sure they will be happy to oblige, but I'm pretty certain they would do that whether you bought anything or not.

If I ask you something, will you be honest with me?

am I turning into a foodie?


Reading Pioneer Woman, and getting bored has started me doing some odd things:

Carmelizing onions on a semi regular basis. Neither of us like raw onions.

Buying unusual ingredients I've never had before, just because they look good.

Note: Isn't the word "prosciutto" a cool word to say.... pruh-shoot-Oh. Practice, then say it with an italian accent. Makes you sound all snooty pooty doesn't it?

Determining that shredded cheese should never come in a bag. It should be grated by hand. Yep, there's a huge difference.

And while I'm on cheese, spending 15 min in the cheese section looking at all the exotic cheese, then deciding that $16/pound is a "good deal".

Making things from scratch, that I can buy in a bag for 75 cents. (this is homemade pizza crust)

Thinking that slathering with olive oil, and immense quantities of cheese is a "good thing".

Photographing everything cool you eat.

So the question is, does this make me a foodie?
I'm not sure if being a foodie is a good or bad thing.

I'm not even going to ask if this pizza makes my butt look big.

Accidental Chili

So...
The other day I accidentally made good chili.

How does one "accidentally" make good chili you ask?
Good question. I was actually kinda pissed at myself in the process and scrambled to fix it.

I will readily admit, that I don't make great chili. I make chili that fits my personal needs:

1. Not hot
2. Thick
3. Meaty
4. Easy

That normally consists of, a pound of lean hamburger, a large can of tomato sauce, and a can of diced stewed tomatoes.

That's it.

Yeah, I know, it's boring.

So the other day, I thought I'd get smarty and sautee some onions first, because despite what everyone else thinks, I'd burn sauteed onion scented candles if they had them. It ranks up high, right behind bacon and hot apple pie.

Then I put in the meat, and go to grab my other ingredients. Ooops.

Not only am I out of tomato sauce, I bought medium beans instead of mild. So what I did, was take a second can of stewed tomatoes and pureed them! It worked! It added a lot of flavor and was so much better, with just a tiny kick, and not too spicy.

We named it appropriately, accidental chili. (we're not all that creative in the naming department. Someday I'll tell you how to make chicken clomp, and how it got named that.)

So I will admit defeat.
But I still won't be entering any chili cook-offs anytime soon!

Recipe: Easy stuffed mushrooms

I have a confession.

I've been making these mushrooms for 20 years!! You can thank one man for today's recipe. Richard Simmons. Yep, that guy. Years ago, I did the deal a meal program, and it had a cookbook with it. FYI: DAM (lol) works really well and kinda kicks your butt. No "eat anything you want just count the points" crap. If it's the end of the day and all you have left is green veggies, guess what? you're gonna have green veggies. LOL.

Anyway, these mushrooms (or a variation of) was in the cookbook, and I've made them ever since. I mentioned this recipe in passing, and one of my lovely readers msged me to request it.

Aww. I feel so ... USED! lol

You'll need whole mushrooms, get them as fresh as possible
Garlic Powder
Butter (I use the light stuff, I cook with it all the time)
Parmesan cheese Yep, I have the shake stuff. I suppose you could use the real thing, and I have the real thing, I have always just used this so I stick with it.

Clean your mushrooms.
Now I know technically, you're supposed to just brush off the "loose brown stuff" with a brush and not wash them, but I'm sorry, I can't stop with the "They're grown in poop!" mentality. So I rinse them in cold water.

Pull out all the stems carefully, try not to break the tops. Set the tops on a plate for later.

Chop all the stems into smallish pieces. I actually chopped them to about 1/2 this size. you could also use a handy chopper machine thingy (which I have but hate to wash), but I wouldn't use a food processor, it'll make the pieces too small.

Add a tablespoon of your butter and approximately 1/2 tsp of garlic powder. I say approximately because I like garlic so you might put in more or less to taste.

About a tsp of parmesan cheese.

Then nuke for 45 seconds. Yep, we use the microwave around here for more than just warming up coffee and popcorn. (someday I'll teach you how to make actual meatloaf in the microwave lol).

Take a spoonful of the mixture and press it into the openings of the tops. If you don't nuke them a long time, they might be heaped (it's ok if you don't nuke the stuffing long enough). If there's melted butter in the bottom of the bowl, I even pour that over the tops. Then, sprinkle more cheese on top.

Nuke uncovered for approximately 2 minutes, or until they start to get soft.

You must serve them immediately. No cooking ahead on these guys.

They are very yummy, quick and if you're dieting, a filling food with very little calories (or points). I believe they are 1 point for almost a whole 8 ounce pkg.

BTW, I did well on D.A.M. (sorry that's just funny). I lost 41 pounds, then I had Tanner and I found it all again.

D.A.M. kid.
:p

Recipe: Easy buttery garlic potatoes

Years ago, my mom taught me this super easy potato recipe. It's quick, easy and yummy, and everyone in this house loves them. Even Tanner, the only person I've ever met that is "ehhh" on potatoes.

When I cook these, I don't measure anything, and never have, but I can give you estimates on what I've used.

Here's what you'll need:

1. Potatoes - Approximately 1 - 1.5 fist sized potatoes per person. I have a couple extra because I put them in Gene's lunch. As you can see from mine, they are a little wrinkly. I like to use this recipe when my potatoes need to get used up! Not good enough for baking, but too good to go in the trash.
2. Garlic Powder (I ran out tonight, time to buy more!)
3. Butter - I use light butter, but you could use whatever you have. I would never suggest cooking with fat free butter, it separates when heated. blech
4. Chives - I use dried ones, only because they were easy to find. Fresh would be good too!
   
   
   
   

First wash your potatoes well, especially if you're the wife of my husband because he asks EVERY TIME if I do. Sheesh, and I always do! Don't forget to rescue the one that keeps disappearing into the garbage disposal!

Then chop the potato in half, and then dice those into approximately 1" pieces. If you don't have one, you MUST get a Santuko knife. I have 2, a big one (around 12") and a smaller (around 9") version. Sharp and sturdy. Love!

Put everything into a casserole dish with a lid. If you're making a bunch, you could use a big bowl with a plate for a lid. Srsly, once you don't have a lid, you'll do whatever you gotta do. BTDT.

Next, add about 3 tablespoons of butter in "pats" over the top, with approximately a teaspoon of garlic powder. Mine was old so fresh I could probably use less. Fresh garlic would be yummy too. Hmm... I'll try that next time.

Now for the yummy colorful part, the chives. Add as much as you want. For us, that's around 1.5 tablespoons.

$40 a POUND!? Holy ... I just noticed that. Glad that .07 pound will last me for a year, and I bet that plastic container weighs 3 times as much as the chives. Hmm.

I bought these at Osceola cheese in Odessa, but I've seen it also in bulk in the Amish stores or whole food markets. Or, you could be a lowly soul like myself and just go to Walmart.

See how pretty it is. Cover with the lid, and put in the microwave for approximately 6 min. When it stops, stir it and test it to see how done they are. I cooked them 4 additional minutes.

All done!

That's what a steamy lens looks like. I usually serve it with beef, but they go with anything. I also think they'd be good with some fresh Parmesan cheese or just a little bit of nice cold sour cream on top.

Why did my mouth just water?

Your colon will thank you

I'm a little hell bent on eating healthier, and lighter..... and get rid of some of this weight. I know I know, how many times have I said that?

I've been moody about it, and I guess waiting for some sort of colossal sign to show up to tell me that I need to DO IT NOW. And said sign didn't come... well, except for a very random old Body For Life friend found me on facebook... which is fairly difficult considering I didn't have the same email, nor do I even have the same name.

Through him, found another old BFL friend... and at some point said to myself "Is this the sign?" and decided that it might as well be.

Or maybe it's Gene's class reunion coming up this summer.

I wanted to share with you, one of my favorites, which happened to be my lunch today, and wow is it easy.

All you need is a

1. fresh sweet potato (yam depending on whom you ask)
2. two paper towels
3. light butter (optional but DUH)
4. splenda brown sugar (expensive!!)

Poke the potato, wrap it in the paper towels and get the towels really wet. I learned this trick from Gene. It works really well. Nuke it for around 5 min or until it feels soft when you squeeze it. Don't overcook! It gets hard if you do. It takes less time than a regular potato. I don't know how many min it is, we have a microwave that says 1, 2, 3, 4 potatoes. I put it in for 2 potatoes.

Slather with goodness.

MMMM

It's like eating candy, and not too bad for you. This is 5 points if you're on WW and this minus the toppings is perfect for your carbs if you're doing BFL. It's a complex carb and tastes nice and sweet. There aren't many of those!

My other "treat" is this:

If you hate celery because it tastes bitter, try it this way. My mama taught me this trick years ago. Cut it up, and put it in a big bowl full of water and stick it in the fridge. It gets full of water and is super crispy. It's not bitter *at all* (even the worst bitter celery tastes great).

I try to keep this in the fridge when I'm trying to lose weight (even without a lid) and just grab a few pieces when I'm starving. *fiber is good for you* :p

The kids eat it like candy, and it becomes an issue when I run out because I HATE CUTTING CELERY. LOL.

Don't forget to enter the mighty tree giveaway!