Thursday, February 23, 2012

It's time for honey bee haiku!


It's nearly time once again.
for spring.

A bee came out to play, and was particularly interested in my toilet paper that I was bringing home from the wallsmart.

So was I, since I was completely out.

This calls, for a celebratory haiku!

Little tiny bee
Hugging my toilet paper.
Hurry! I must pee!

It's warm out. I know.
Don't get too comfortable.
Tonight it's snowy!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Hello kitty... make my day.


This past weekend Gene and I went to a gun show that he was dying to go to.

I paid for a pistol with a Hello Kitty check. 

That my friend, is called juxtuposition.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Boo Kitty Boo

So every time I see a stray cat, (or a squashed kitty on the road :( ) I always say "aww, poor booboo kitty". No idea why, I just do it stuck.

A few booboo kitties have showed up at my house. One made it to the dog pound, one met an untimely demise just a few days after he showed up. Another disappeared as quickly as he appeared.

A couple weeks ago, we caught a flash of something white running across the yard and under the shed. It was another kitty! A white one, with a black tail.  I thought he'd take off, but he seemed to stick around.  I even caught him inside the chicken coop a couple times.

A few days ago, I heard him meowing so I called him.  He came to me, and I ended up giving him a bowl of crunchies.


Which I think only confirmed to him, that I'm his new people.

Poor thing idolizes me (like most men) and is right there begging for something to eat or getting under my feet. (like most men).

I decided that instead of BooBoo Kitty, his name would be Boo Kitty Boo.
No idea why either.
It just stuck.


I haven't talked Gene into letting him be an indoor kitty.

But in the meantime, he sits staring at my door for hours on end on the off chance that his people (that's me) comes out to give him rubbins or food.

You know, like most men.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

What happens when a redneck tries to be artsy


Kinda hard to pull off the hoity toity artsy fartsy vibe when you store your egg cartons in front of your greek statue, no?

Monday, February 13, 2012

Things I don't "Get" and one thing I do

There are a few things over the years, that on greater thought, I just don't "get".

It's not that I think they're wrong, or anyone is wrong doing them, I just don't get the reasoning behind it if you really sit and spend some time thinking about it.

For example:

I really don't get music.  (I'm obviously the only one.)  I say this as someone that was in choir for years, one of those years being swing choir.  It's not that I don't really get it, it's more the logic behind it.  Think about it - we make a ruckus on noiseboxes like guitars, drums and violins, then we shoot frilly words out of our mouths at the same time.... and we idolize those that do it well.  Heck we devote entire shows to it.  If you stop and think about it, it's very *strange*.

Since we're talking about strange, let's talk about dancing.  There's something else that if you think about the concept of dancing (throwing your body around the room in time with *music*) it just seems so odd.  Proof in point, look at a photo of someone dancing, it always seems kind of crazy looking.

Something else I find kind of weird, is humans needs to domesticate an animal and call it a pet.  What thought process did someone have to capture a wild dog, tame it, and then invite the wild animal into their home?  Or worse yet, a wild CAT, with it's sharp claws and pissy, uppity attitude?   Who thought THAT was a good idea? (not saying I don't like the outcome - I have a pissy cat and an uppity cat that rule this house).

I've also thought sports were strange.  Not only do a bunch of guys get together and throw around some sort of ball (unless it's soccer and they kick it around), but people clamor to watch it, and to top it all of we pay millions to players in the process.

Does that not seem *weird* from the outside looking in?

But there's one thing I know I've always been able to "get".


The idea of seeing something beautiful that pleases the eye, and the need to take it home and put it on the wall completely resonates with me.  The need to *create* it has always been there for me since I was a small child.

When I was a young kid, my mom became a painter (oils) and she taught me how to paint.  While other kids in Jr. High were getting allowances, I was selling simple paintings of unicorns (hey it was the 80's).  I would also sell drawings for $2.00 to my friends (and sold a ton of them), so it was no shocker that much of my high school time was sitting in Mr. Hunt's art room creating whatever the latest assignment was.

Sculpture, acrylic paintings, things made with plaster were common themes.  Our senior year we had no assignments - we just created whatever we wanted to create.  One thing that always stuck with me was watercolors.

I've come to realize over the years that watercolors are some of my very favorites.  That soft feeling with transparent layers of colors leaves me imagining what the scene really looked like.

Gene and I are members of the Albrecht-Kemper Museum of Art in St. Joseph, MO.  Obviously I've always been a fan of art, but on his own, gene has acquired an affinity for art also.  While I'm a fan of impressionism, Gene loves the renaissance style. 

Our house is maybe ... a little hodge podge.

Anyway, right before Christmas, the museum announced a watercolor class for adults and I told Gene that's what I wanted for Christmas.

Last Tuesday, I went to my first art class in *cough*20*cough* years.
I was the second to the youngest person there.
It was fun!

We learned a few techniques, came home with a little bird painting we made and I've been painting up a storm since.


Every day it's something new - sometimes I'm finding artwork of other artists and trying to copy it (it's a good lesson), or maybe trying to figure out a technique.  My second painting since the 80's, was the starfish above.

I love feel of the water and the paint. I love how it flows, and letting it do it's own thing is part of the art.  It's like the paper is creating the art, and you're there just watching to see what it creates.


Yesterday I made this goldfinch, my favorite bird (inspired by the work of another artist) and it got me to thinking about an old dream of writing and illustrating a children's book someday.

So I think I will.

I need a theme.
Who's with me?

I have a long, LONG way to go and it's probably something I would just make for myself and call it done.  But it would be a wonderful thing to pass down to my own kids and grandkids.

Then there's that part were I become a millionare and people fall in love with me.

You know... more than you already do.


Monday, February 6, 2012

There's no way to put this delicately....

Say you're walking through the parking lot on the way to the gym.

No, I wasn't actually going to use the gym. (bahahahah).... no I was going there to drop off some photos.

So anyway, you're walking through the parking lot, and suddenly you have the urge to burp.  You know.. the *loud* burp.  The one that rattles windows from 32 feet.  That one. (This is a quite a skill between my and my sisters - I'm a punk compared to Torrie and Amber).  Yeah, I know... I failed the school of ettiquette.

So when you get this overwhelming urge, I suggest you turn your head to the left and the right before expelling said burp.

My apologies to the guy going in to work out, that had that look of shock on his face when I turned around.

He should meet my sisters.

{and no, this post has no photo - how do you photograph a burp?}

ETA:  I found a proper image to illustrate a burp:

Friday, February 3, 2012

How to get a chicken to stop crapping on your deck.

One of the down sides to having chickens is the poop. Yep, if you let them range, they're going to crap a lot.  It's like having 16 small dogs at times.

Throw scraps off your deck and after a while they'll start to associate the deck is the magical place where all food comes from.  Especially the good stuff like bits of t-bone steaks and red cabbage.

(Yeah, that's what I thought too).

So anyway, in the process of going on explores looking for food on my deck, they have a tendancy to crap there.  It makes going in and out the door interesting - kind of like a treasure hunt. 

Or walking off a plank.

Gene finally discovered the one thing that will keep the crap off the deck.


The yellow broom. 

No, not for sweeping (well, that too), but when a grumpy glass man swings it around his head and it makes a "woooosh" noise (and it flies out of his hands and hits the house), the chickens freak OUT *bwaaaaack* and will run until they are out of breath and can run no farther.

Which is about 50 feet.

Then, leave the broom on the steps and the dirty little buggers will never approach the deck again.
So when you visit me, you'll have to jump a broom.  But be happy because that means you won't have bird crap stuck in your favorite pair of sketchers.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

And with this post, my "to edit" folder is empty.

Pretty things.

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