Overwhelmed

Totally overwhelmed.
Fer realz.

I've determined that if I don't sleep for the next 3.2 months, I will be half way caught up with my life. On the flip side, creating some of the best work I've ever done.
Check out my facebook page for my latest stuff.  It seems it's the one place I can keep updated.

I'm learning to say no.

No, I don't need to make banana bread just because the bananas are going bad.
No, I don't need to keep a coffee mug just because I had it when I was 9.
No, I can't take on any more projects, jobs, dreams, money making ventures, etc.

I've hardly any time for myself anymore and I've come to hate summer because of it.  Which is pretty sad considering it's been an awesome summer.

In other news, my step son is moving in with us soon and that's really pushing my anxiety levels.  I've emptied the guest room.  Now cleaning Tanner's "empty" room (he's gone off to school and is staying in town).  My dining room is stacked to the hilt with crap I need to sell off this weekend.   I've said NO to selling antiques but I'm *this close* to just putting it in tubs in storage.  Which would be really bad news.  I'd leave it there another year for sure.

Oh, and I'm getting a studio.  Gotta remodel that in the process.
I'm thinking having Michael (step-son) here will be a good thing, maybe he'll be able to help out us old folks a bit.

So many things I'd love to share, but I have to get back to editing, you know, those dang brides want to see their photos!
How dare they!

OK, I'm alive

OK so that's the longest that I've ever gone without posting.  Thank you all for still checking in, and heck, I even appreciate the anonymous hang up call (pretty sure I know where that came from). lol.

I think I just needed a break from the blog for a while. I've been doing this for around 7 years now fairly regularly so I must have needed some free time to relax.  I've been trying to write a post for a month now.  Finally decided to just do it and get it done, because I'll have way too much to update everyone on if I don't.

Here's some of the things that's been going on in my life.

- Tanner Graduated from high school.  I know, right? 

 

Pretty proud of that kid.  He's not an honor roll kid, but he's a leader and being a leader will get you a long way in the world.  He was the head of the relay for life team for his entire work place (which is a big deal for an 18yo) and they keep talking to him about moving into a management position.  He could totally do it and make  career of it too - while going to college.

 

He also had his last prom.  It was the same day as his girlfriend's high school graduation, there was a bit of stress over the whole thing, but we all worked it out ok.

 

 

******

 

 

Because this happened.....

 

This happened.....

 

My little sister had her baby.  Her name is Bristol and she's probably the cutest baby in the world (mainly because she looks like me).  Whodathunk it?  My baby sister has her own baby.  She's a really good mom.

 

The irony of my baby graduating just days before she was born was not lost on me.

 

******

 

I've painted a couple things:

 

 

I've been trying to paint more for fun lately (obviously).  I also painted a set of Harry Potter wands which turned out pretty awesome, they are not scanned yet.  I probably will add them to an etsy and sell prints.  I'm saving every nickel I make from painting on a dream vacation.  I don't know where the location is yet, but when I get a few grand saved up, I'm out of here.  Most likely I'll come back with a tan in the process.

 

Speaking of painting, I signed up for an acrylic painting class for the summer.  Pretty excited about it.  I love hanging out with other creatives.

 

******

 

Speaking of Harry Potter, I have been reading a lot.  I finished all the HP books and now I'm half way through the Hunger Game's trilogy.  I have only wanted to slit my wrists about 6 times.  I'm crossing my fingers that it gets a little less depressing soon.  I keep dreaming I'm Katniss and the world is kicking my ass.

 

I think all this reading screens is blowing out my eyes.  I really need glasses but I've been in denial.  Plus I don't know how to shoot with glasses on.  I've been depending on the camera a lot to be in focus on it's own.  So far it's working.

 

*******

 

 

 

 

While looking for photos for Tanner's graduation slideshow dvd I made him (which was really hard for me because I had no idea what I was doing), I found the first photo I took of the house:

 

 

I'm so amazed how different it looks now than it did back then so I thought I'd share with you what we do on almost every free weekend we have:

 

So many new things here that weren't there before like a whole new porch, brand new roof, the front door was switched with the window.   It's not done yet but it looks like a completely different house now.  I think the neighbors have finally decided that we're not white trash after all.

 

Fooled them! ;)

 

Right now we're lining the inside of the living room wall (facing the front of the house) with carsiding wood tongue and groove.  It's really pretty!  Eventually the house will be covered with log cabin siding so we're going with a rustic feel to everything we do in the house.

Honestly?  I regret wood floors.  My feet hurt all the time.

 

******

 

We have a really big, life altering event happening soon (can't tell right now until it's official).  I'm literally sitting here waiting for the phone to ring (they were supposed to call hours ago).  If all goes well, it will be one of my proudest moments of my life. 

 

******

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm about half way through my wedding season and still booking for this year!  I will probably only take a couple more weddings and then consider myself full for the year.  I have no idea how those people do it that shoot 50+ a year!  It's going a lot faster than I thought it would.  Of course, I'm behind schedule on processing.  Working in two places is hard yo.  I'll get it all figured out somehow. 

 

******

 

Getting myself back into shape.  When Gene lost his job I stopped my nutrisystem program I was doing really well with.  I've gained back a bit but still down from before.  I HAVE to get healthy.  You know, typical reasons (besides my modeling career of course.)

 

Pretty sure I have gallstones.  Hold me.

 

*******

 

 

The glass shop is doing well.  If he's not installing glass, he's out beating the streets drumming up business and making sales calls.  Failure is unlikely with him, and even then he'd go down with a major fight. Gene said the other day "I never thought I'd see numbers like this again."  That's a big deal for him.  He's turned into a fairly optimistic kind of guy.  He's definitely happier than he's ever been in his life, and it's not just about business either.

 

In a few days it will be our 5th anniversary.  I still haven't decided what I'd like to do special.  I really want to go somewhere - on a plane - far from home.  We'll see.  We are doing great.  I'm so lucky I met the love of my life.  I can't imagine anyone better suited for me than him.  We still treat each other like we're newlyweds and I don't see us changing that part of our lives.  We're pretty blessed.

 

 

OK, I that's all the updates I can think of at the moment.  I'm sure I'll think of 27 more 3 minutes after I hit "publish".  But maybe that will now give me an excuse to update at least once a week.

 

 

 

 

A new ride

A few months ago, at the beginning of winter, I reported that Tanner purchased a new kayak.  A couple weeks ago, said kayak *finally* made it on the water.  I, being mommy of the year (always), drove 15 miles just to take a few pics.

 

Which he didn't like because they weren't senior picture-y enough.

 

Damn ingrate.

 

In other news, his other ride suffered.  He was driving down Main Street in stop and go traffic.  He stopped, but the girl behind him didn't so the old Jeep's tail in got bashed in.  He's now trying to sell it so he can combine that money with his insurance money and buy something else - which he's been shopping for since about 12 minutes after he got the Jeep and realized it wasn't a 2013 model.

 

He keeps showing me pictures of mustangs and corvettes.

 

Yeah good luck with that kid.

 

Our new adventure!!

We are proud to announce our new adventure! www.ruralbride.com

I've been thinking for a long time about creating a blog that's inspirational for brides like the ones we find in towns around America just like my town (Maryville, MO). As I have shot so many weddings here, I realized that there's probably a lot more brides taking the VFW or the community gym and turning it into a "ballroom" than there are "ballroom brides".

I find them inspirational because they have taken something very rough around the edges and created something incredibly beautiful in the process. It was then, that I knew that there were other brides struggling with the same issues. That's why www.ruralbride.com was created - to bring all those people together.

I hope you'll visit the blog and visit it often. Please put it in your feed burner or your bookmarks. We're still doing a bit of work on the site here and there, but we're 90% there. This is what has consumed my life lately!

Right now we're having a special giveaway. If you like our facebook page, you're entered to win a DIY Bride book! Please join us and invite your friends too!

Workin' for "the man"

And sadly, I think at this point, "the man" is just me.

 

I've gotten really busy... driving to a secondary location to "work" has been good in ways, annoying in others - we haven't worked out all the kinks yet but I kind of like my little "apartment in the city" as we call it.

One thing that I realized was becoming a problem was keeping track of all the things in my life that needed toting back and forth.  Calendars (multiple ones for different projects), notebooks with project ideas, my kindle, phones, etc etc.  God forbid I want to carry something extra like an actual book.  You know, I don't think carrying your work stuff in a Wal-mart bag is really all that professional.  Ya think?

I finally deduced that I needed something and pulled out my old leather planner.

I used it one day and realized it was still too small.

So, I caved and bought a briefcase. I'm now "the man".  I feel like a traveling salesman ready to sell you a brand new Fuller Brush.  Sometimes I even put a sandwich in there.

Can I interest you in a low rate mortage?

Toy Triumph

About 15 years ago, I was at a pretty different place in my life.

 

We (my ex and I) were having a rough go of it.  We were pretty broke to say the least. If I could do things different (I probably wouldn't because where I am now is because where I was then), I would probably think a little wiser about money.

 

But it ended up being a good thing because being really scared teaches you something.  It teaches you where you don't want to be.

 

We got into a debt repayment program and avoided a bankruptcy which is always a good thing.  After a couple years things started to turn around about the same time we needed a car. We nervously went out and applied for a car loan on a Dodge Neon and got it.

 

I loved that car.  For me it symbolized that things can be fixed, things could get better.  It was triumph over a low period in my life and damn I was so proud of that car.  So much so that I still own it and can't bear to part with it although I've not driven it in 3 years.

 

I won't pretend like my life was great.  That I was rolling in cash.  It was just a Neon after all.  A couple years later, I was on my own and finished paying off that car by myself.  Another triumph - I could do it without help if I needed to!

 

Along comes Gene.  We live our lives and slowly pay off old bills, buy a house, buy a car (more car than I ever dreamed I could have - triumph), start businesses that we always dreamed of starting, remodel a house, etc etc etc.

 

A few years ago, I was following one of my favorite photographers blog and I loved her photos.  I wanted to see what her equipment cost her because I wanted to take beautiful photos too.

 

What I found really discouraged me.  Her camera was $2000, her lenses were over $1000 each and I felt really dejected.  I would never be able to afford that!  I wasn't going to be able to be a great photographer. 

 

What I did do though, was I bought the best that cash could afford me, which was a used Canon 30D which at the time cost me around $300.  I remember my heart pounding as I hit the "buy" button on that camera.  I'd never bought anything so extravagant for myself ever.  Every year or so, I would upgrade my equipment to the best I could afford at the time (always used) and give Gene my old camera, then sell off the 3rd wheel.

 

About 2-3 years ago I stopped buying equipment (I was getting by ok) and started saving for a studio to be built.

 

I had outgrown my 5D classic.  I actually outgrew it not long after I got it.  I think if you're constantly pushing your camera to it's limits, that it forces you to grow and be creative.

 

"This church is made of walnut, there's 3 windows and 4 light bulbs.  How am I going to make this work?"  That usually meant that I would have "artistically" grainy photos and Gene wouldn't have any back up shots (the 50D couldn't handle it).

 

Life circumstances change.  Sometimes on a path that you didn't plan but ends up being for the best.   We ended up downtown Maryville with a glass shop and a photography office (no studio ... yet anyway).

 

I'd outgrown the camera and was looking to upgrade.  I decided to step over the markii and go straight to the markiii which fixed a lot of issues they'd had with the markii.  In shopping, I found that new was only a few hundred bucks more than used.  Why buy used when I could get brand new with a warranty for just a tiny bit more?

 

And just like that I did it.  No fanfare, no pounding heart.  Click.  Done.

 

 

Yesterday it came.  My brand new markiii.  It's the first pro camera I've ever had that was brand new.

When it got here, I was a little teary-eyed.  Not because it was an exciting new toy (ok maybe a little of that) but because it was a little like that Dodge Neon 13 years ago. 

I did that.  I can do it.  I didn't need any help.
Dammit, I think I'm successful.

Rarely do I feel proud of myself - most creatives are that way.  We all think we suck.  But I've afforded myself a day or two to feel proud of myself and wonder ahead.  Can things get better?  What might be the next great thing that can happen if we stay on this track? 

Live is already really great right now, so at this point, it's all gravy.

Flowers will soon be here

Here's hoping for spring soon, but in the meantime, here's some "wintertime flowers".

WARNING: Fake uggs are a gateway boot

"My feet are cold."  I've said this pretty much every wintery day (and some summery days) for most of my life.  I'm pretty sure I have the worst circulation in NW Missouri.

I hear exercise fixes that.

bwhahahahaha.

So I got to the point I was wearing 2 pair of socks a day and I was still constantly cold.  I finally decided to break down and look for something warmer.  It just so happened that Kohls had some fake uggs on clearance.  Normally I can't wear boots because of my ugly fat calves, but these had little stretchy buttons on the side.

I hemmed and hawwed over the $31.00 purchase and finally broke down and bought them (oh and another pair of boots too.  A girl can't have too many shoes).

Probably the best decision I've made in months.  Not only do I wear them 16 hours a day (when I'm not sleeping), my feet are rarely cold.  I had a super cold shoot yesterday and when I left, my feet were STILL WARM.  Let me tell you, that's a monumental task.

Now I want the real thing.  And um... they're a tad bit more expensive.

Stand out of the way, I might have to bat my eyelashes and say "pwease" to get what I want.

This calls for a fake ugg haiku!

Warm and fuzzy toes,

my fake uggs you complete me.

Bring on the real boots!

Oh gee you silly goose!

 

About a week ago, the Squaw Creek Reserve posted on facebook that their numbers of geese went from over a million one week, to down to just over 100,000 in a little over a week.  They guessed it was the geese trying to be ahead of the front that came through our area late last week.

 

I was really amazed at this number, how SO MANY geese knew to leave. 

 

Later I was thinking about this number as I came home and looked up.  It's not often this time of year that you see no geese at all.  We even have a small grouping of snow geese that lives in the field across from our house this time of year, and even they were gone.

 

It seemed really strange and kind of eery for them to be gone.

 

Thursday the snow came, and although it struck Kansas City pretty hard, Maryville was fairly unscathed.  Yes, we had snow, but nothing major that we couldn't handle (about 4-5 inches).

 

Friday morning, that was a different story.  I woke up in the morning to a flock of geese flying over my house honking and it made me smile to know they were back.  Despite me thinking they were the worlds dumbest creatures (I never see them fly south, just "around"), I was wrong.  They knew when to come back when the coast was clear and they didn't need a meterologist to tell them to go clean the shelves of snow shovels, bread, milk and rock salt.

 

Friday, driving home from work, I see down my road not far from my house some movement.  It was a sea of white dots moving across the road and that's when I knew they were back, in full force. 

 

Walking up my steps I looked up again and some were flying so low it almost seemed like you could reach up and touch them.  A sea of geese everywhere.

 

 

So let me give you some advice.

 

Next time you see 3/4 of a million snow geese bugging out of town.  It's time to go buy milk.

 

I have a problem.. I'm turning into a Pott head.

So a about a year ago, I got really tired of hearing references to Harry Potter that I really didn't "get".  Quite frankly, unless your pop culture reference is to the Brady Bunch, Friends or Michael Jackson, I'm probably not going to get it.  I'm quite "dated" I tell ya.

 

So anyway, I vowed that I'd finally read at least the first one in the series and set out to get download it on Amazon.

BAM

 

Road block.  It seems that, at the time, JK Rowlings decided that she only wanted people to read the books by actually holding a book.  She was pretty adamant about it.  The thing is, I have a kindle and didn't want to have to sit up with a light on at night (which I'm pretty sure Gene wouldn't tolerate) to read a book.

 

I checked back about a month or 2 ago, and voila!  You can now check them out on amazon for FREE.  Yep. *free*.

 

As my father-in-law says, you know what's better than a Harry Potter book?

A FREE Harry Potter book.

 

 

Just so you know, that's totally how they rope you in.  By the third book, I was in the middle of the month, a good 14 days away from another check out (only one per month) and I was dying to know what happened next.

So, needless to day, I now have an account at Pottermore.com
Yep, me and a bunch of 14 year olds.

It's ok, now I know that there are things like hats, and tshirts and phone cases and pajamas but most of all, they have wands.
I really want a WAND.  OK I ADMIT IT.

I have a list of people I want to turn into a frog, and I really need a wand for that.

I see myself in the future doing some watercolors of wands and owls.

I also want an owl.
Preferably a little one like Pigwidgeon.  Someone make that happen ok?

Because Gene thinks he's annoyed at my little kindle light shining in his face NOW?  Wait til I have an owl in my bedroom sending notes back and forth to all my friends. 

Joke's on you, I have no friends.

Fake it til you make it - how to be an "artist"

One thing about moving into a space that has been empty for a while (our shop was nothing for around 5 years), it will definitely need some updating and TLC. 

One thing about this shop that I really HATE is this hideous air condition (wall unit) sticking out of the middle of the wall.  WTheck am I supposed to do with that ugly thing?

 

Maybe I could throw some mud at it and call it "inspirational art".  Although I highly doubt anyone would find it inspirational.

 

 

 

We needed to keep it so it was be accessable in the summer time.  After all, there's a fair amount of glass here (ha) and it's going to get hot in this office in the summer.  I'll actually probably appreciate this A/C unit a little more come July.   In the meantime, It needs to be prettier.

 

I came up with the idea to make a box and paint it then hang a large print on it.  Boom!  Done.

 

However, once I started to paint it .... this happened:

 

 

 

I was liking how the paint was streaky and showing layers of color so... I left it.

 

We hung it on the wall to just let it percolate a little while and we both ended up liking it.

 

I guess I'll pretend like it's inspirational art after all.  I shall call it "the cool box" (puns intended.

 

In out in out in out in out in out in out. Pick one.

 

Sometimes I think, that we as humans think we can do better for a "helpless" critter than they can do for themselves.

 

At least I felt that way when Boo came to live inside.  If you've followed here at all, you know that Boo is a feral cat that showed up at my house one day looking for food.  I fed him, and he stayed.  He's in the background of almost every single outdoor photo I'd taken for a year.  Nearly  my constant companion while outside doing something he deemed "interesting" enough to take part in. Which probably means "she might feed me!"  in his little head.

 

Frequently in the evening, a little white cat would come to our living room window and peek in as we watched our evening shows.  If the window was open, he wouldn't be scared to hang on the window screen to show his loyalty.

 

About  November, the neighbors warned my husband that they'd be putting out poison for possums that kept making his horses sick.  He knew the little white cat hung out down at our house and was worried he might get caught up in the poison.  In he came, and he's been inside ever since.

 

 

But you know, he always feels a little "caged".  Like he THOUGHT being inside would be a good idea, but now that he's thought about it a bit, he's rethinking his stance.

 

He frequently stares outside pensively like he's got something important that he's supposed to be doing and it's *out there*.  

I was getting the front end view of that pose for a year, and now this.

So a couple times he's jumped outside and I let him.  I'm morally opposed to outdoor cats as they don't have as long of a lifespan as indoor cats.  I've started to wonder though, is he happy inside?  Because I'm confident that a lion can live a longer life in a cage too, but is that really where he wants to be?

So come spring, I may toy with the idea of letting Boo be an indoor/outdoor cat.  I'll hope he comes in at night because, let's face it, the loss of his dangly bits and the never ending cat food bowl has given him a little bit of a trailer park waddle.  I'm no longer sure he can outrun a coyote.

But don't tell Jingles that, because he's kicking his ass on a regular basis.
still.