There are no bigger fish left to fry

This is my oldest son, Seth.

He likes to fish.  Can you tell? :)

37.8 pound catfish caught in the 102 river!

Catfish fry at Seth's house Saturday night!

Colorado, in a nutshell

Decided it would be easiest just to give you the readers digest version of the trip to CO.

1. We drove.  It seemed like a longer drive than ever.  Contiental drift? 
2. Lots of failed attempts at antique shopping.  Took us into parts we were scared we wouldn't come out of.
3. I had a really bad day one day.  I kind of was a PITA.  I was hell bent on staying in Estes Park at least one day.  When I booked the hotel, I didn't see "Loveland" as the address.  We didn't even have a view of the mountains.  *insert unhappy face*.  Add that to rain every farking day and it was a recipe for disaster.
4. This is the same day that we decided to walk across town to ride the tram (fun but kinda of cheesy).  It was only "a couple blocks". 
5. It was not.
6. I was wearing flip flops.
7. Gene left me at a tackle store... in the rain... to go get the car because my flip flop was rubbing my foot badly.  Really stupid move.  I had no money, no purse, my cell phone was dead, holding a really expensive camera and I was in a town by myself I didn't know anyone.  I r smartz.
8. When he got back about 1/2 hour later I went to get in the car, the seat would work.  Yep, passenger seat broke and would only stay in the laying back position.
9. I was unhappy. *dark picture*
10. Arguement
11. Make up.
12. Spent the next morning in the parking lot of an upholstry repair place (they were great!) as they tried to fix it.  Come to find out, it was a part that we didn't even need, that broke loose and was jamming up the seat.  $65 later, and all it was was a piece of garbage stuck up in there.
13. Jeeps are sometimes a PITA too.
14. We fed the chipmunks.  It's my happy place - but we did it in the rain.
15. Followed around a female elk.  Bogged up traffic and Gene got mad when someone honked at him.
16. Stayed in the coolest hotel with huge photographic murals everywhere. 
17. I now want a huge photo mural in my bedroom.  So gonna do that.
18. Ate the most expensive meal of my entire life at this hotel (dang I need to remember the name of it!)
19. Gene and I stopped at the house he used to live at in Aurora.  His son Michael was born shortly after they moved from there.
20. The windmill fields are another of my happy places.
21. I don't know why.

On a scale of 1-10, I'd give the trip a solid 4.  Sorry Colorado.  I've had better times there, but we did see some pretty things.

Next trip will be much better planned and for happier reasons.

Why the long face there cowboy?

On our way to Colorado Springs we tried to hit a couple antique stores, which seems to be a difficult thing to do in Colorado apparently.  Most of them were duds or the town you drove through looked like a scene out of Mad Max and the Thunderdome.

Welcome to Arriba, Colorado.

(Or was this Genoa?)

Sorry guys, amiright?

So on the way out, I checked that I still had all my appendages (check!), and snapped a few shots of some cool rustic (that's a nice term for "crapped out") old buildings that would be fun to paint.

That's when I saw it.

*insert heavenly music*

An old Chevy truck full of tires... next to a worn out shed.

like, Senior photography gold.

MINI SHOOT!  We tresspassed for 5 minutes to get a few shots of Gene.  This is what you do to photos when your husband is wearing a turquoise blue polo that doesn't really go with the theme we're doing here.  Photoshop actions at 100%... YES!

Man, if I had this back home I could make a fortune off of this get up.  Or maybe I could shoot senior pics in Arriba.  Not sure who my client base would be though.  Maybe the children of the corn.  Oh wait, they kill them all before they turn 18.

Nevermind.

Kind of like the Stay Puft Marshmellow man!

Something that I realized I said a LOT while in Colorado was "look at that cloud!"

I know, how sad is that?  Yeah.

It seems that clouds in CO are much different than clouds in MO.  I was amazed how beautiful they were. 

Maybe it's because it rained like, every day in CO.

Or maybe it's because I forgot what a rain cloud in Missouri looks like.

I am SO OVER brown grass.

Welcome home!!

One of the saddest days in recent memory

Have you ever fought for something you loved with all your heart?

Well, that kind of explains why I've been quiet lately.  You see, this past week, my husband and I went to Colorado to fight for something really important.  Like, fight as in, court battle.

We've been planning this for about 6 months now.  Working on it a lot, probably equivalent to a part time job for me.  I learned a lot about myself in that time.  Like, I can find out all kind of information when I just put my mind to it and hype myself up at 2 a.m. on honey bunches of oats.

A lot of people came together to make it happen, and we found out who are our true friends and family in the process.  My in-laws really mean the world to me, and have now proven it to us - not that they needed to really.  My sisters were there for me just because I asked them to.  No other reason.  Old friends, employers, my step son, even my husband's ex wife (we've not really been the best of friends) was extremely helpful and held herself in nothing but the highest grace and dignity.

But you know what?

We knew we had a battle going in, and our odds were very slim at best.  We hoped that a judge would listen to reason and let us explain.  Our #1 goal was to be able to say that we'd done everything we could to maintain this relationship.  We always had some hope it would happen.

Being prepared doesn't stop you from being crushed when it actually fails.  Kind of like when someone dies after a long term illness.  You know it'll happen eventually, but it doesn't mean you don't grieve when it does happen.

On one hand, the judge was apologetic in his ruling.  Said we were obviously good people, but his hands were tied.  On the other hand, he really didn't let us state our whole case, he rushed us and shushed most of the proceedings.

So that's that.  Because of a technicality in Colorado law, and the spinelessness of one person, my husband will most likely, never again see 3 young girls that he loves deeply.  I had to see my husband break down multiple times in just a few hours.  I've only seen him cry about 6 times in our entire relationship, funny, about 5 of those times was over the SAME PERSON.

I could give you details.  I could literally write a really thick book about it all.  Your jaw would drop every other page. (Some people are really not good people.)  But instead, we've decided that we've lived in a lot of negativity the past year of our lives because of one person.

You see, when we do better for ourselves and try to live a positive life, good things happen to us.  This person, has proven that when they live a negative life, nothing but negative things happen to them.

So we're just letting it go.

Think positive things.

Live positive ways.

Partition off that part of your mind and just.... let it heal.

Because someday, kids grow up into adults and they start to put 2 and 2 together on their own and they will seek out answers.... and we will be here.

It's just a matter of time.

(note: I've turned off comments on this post, because, how can I say this politely?.... I don't care to hear anyone's opinions on the matter.  No offense.  This post is here for some bloodletting only.)