Thursday, June 17, 2010

Practical suggestions for Mother and Housewife

Somewhere, in my recent past, I picked up up an antique book. Now, I can't remember exactly when, or where it was, but I saw the title, and figured it would be good for a few laughs so I brought it home.



06-17-wife


Now there is a title that's just begging to be exposed to the daylight of 2010.

From amazon: "The secrets to how to be a successful mother and housewife are finally revealed in this faithful reproduction of the 1910 classic! Everything a woman needs to know, from how to keep a well-ordered house and take proper care of the family and husband, to personal upkeep and good manners, to proper vocations for the unmarried woman—it’s all here in this invaluable resource that no modern woman should be without."


Now THAT, my friend, is an intriquing intro. I know there has to be some invaluable material in here.

For example under "The single woman":

"Household employments, such as cooking, needlework, etc., as vocations for the unmarried woman, no less than the married, need only be mentioned here, as their appropriateness for the girl at home is obvious, and they are fully discussed elsewhere in this series. It should be suggested, however that the greater leisure of the unmarried woman enables her to try experiments in these subjects while the married housewife is too fully occupied by the routine of her duties to undertake them. Indeed, if a woman become a notable cook after marriage, it is often a sign that she is not a notable wife and mother."

Wait.
What?

So I guess if I make a mean meatball and handmade rolls for dinner (yesterday), I suck at being a wife and mom? I'm sorry, I'm lost.

Girl... hold my earrings.


Later on, in "The Wife" section of the book:

"Now it is the woman who is tempted to marry for economic reasons, to be certain of material support while she exercises herself in those household avocations and social pleasures which constitute the main activies of women."

OK, now we're talkin.

"This is a legitimate consideration only when the interest of the man is also taken into account."

Hmmfpt.

"Marriage to a man whom she does not love is a crime for any woman; giving falsely the offerings of love for material things is harlotry even though legitmated by vows and ceremonies."

Girl, did you just catch what she threw at you? She called you a ho. A big old scanky ho. Just because your really old, rich husband bought you new boobies and a Hummer.

Oh no she di'n't. Honey, lemme hold your earrings.

But just then, on the next page, the author makes a really super valid observation. I'm sure you will concur.

"A woman should not expect to find a perfect husband."

Sing it girlfriend!

"Indeed , her chief usefulness to him will in her strengthening his weak points, and cultivating his right inclinations until the are confirmed habits."

Uh-huh. We all that "training" nowadays. I'm still untraining him from his old wife, and then I'll start the retraining process. Damn I should get a discount!

But then the author goes on to say, " Yet in this work she should realize the imperfections in herself, and respond to the similar aid he gives her by his example and suggestions."

Suggestions?
Sugestions?!

I don't need suggestions! kthxbai. Whoever wrote this was a serious turncoat. Girl is supposed to have our backs. Sheesh.

"Mutual aid is the great bond of marriage, as it is all of human relations."

You know what, maybe it's not *all* bad advice after all.


And being the good housewife that I am, and still on my decluttering mission, I think it's time for this book to find a new home. An unofficial, official mini giveaway.

If you would like to have this book, just shout out in the comments that you would love to see it show up on your doorstep. I'll post a "winner" (I had to use quotes, sorry) on Sunday night - appropriately enough, Father's Day.

However, please don't give it to your mother-in-law or worse, daughter-in-law. Your husband's ex-wife tho, game on. Better yet, send it to your ex-husband's wife! Just send me the details of the fireworks.

Oh, and some popcorn so I can watch.

(I have a mean streak today!)
(meh)

4 comments:

M!ssPr!ssy said...

R.U.KIDDING ME!! I MUST HAVE THIS BOOK. I NEED THIS BOOK. LOVE, DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE. ;)

www.quackandquill.com said...

Probably a man wrote it, in disguise.

Dharma said...

"girl.....hold my earrings!" lmao

no kidding, I think this one may be perfect for use as a doorstop to my "ladies-only" bathroom that I forbid the men in my house to use! so there, put that in your very not-allowed pipe and smoke it girlfriend!

M!ssPr!ssy said...

I am very sorry about the multiple emails that were sent today. Webmail was acting up. I am not a stalker ;)

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