Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Bad Ass Mother Cutters - 2010!

Like I said, I went to a hair show over the weekend in St. Louis.

What's a hair show?

Well, just like the name says, it's a trade show that features a ton of hair related products. It also happened to have a lot of stuff for spray tanning and nails. Heck there was even some jewelry and t-shirts there.


I was quite amused to see this before we even got in the door. This chick was a hair show ticket scalper. Apparently this is THE EVENT.

Something interesting that I found out, was that the mens groups will first call and find out when the hair show is in town, and then they will schedule their events for the same weekend! Guys coming out of the woodwork because they know the town will be crawling with hot chicks.

It's like spring break, for hair stylists.

I'm old. I missed out on it all when I went back to the room and watched HGTV. LOL. The most action I saw was when a chick walked out of her hotel room (our hotel) into the dining area in nothing but a tank top and purple underwear. Then walked right back in.

No one noticed a thing.

Or cared.


The show itself started on Sunday. I opted for function over form, and wore sensible tennis shoes. The ones that squeek when I walk, but i figured no one would hear it anyway because it was so loud. Despite that, my feet still hurt. I kinda felt for those girls that opted for stillettoes.

I guess it was a reminder that I'm not 23 anymore!

There were demonstrations of hair styles, coloring, pedicures and manicures, updos and cuts, colors and sprays, We saw a lot of interesting things (ok and some boring things too), but there was quite a few models getting some cRAZy hairstyles:


Actually, I kinda thought hers was cool.



The designer went on to tell us all how there was a chicken wire base (irony much?) and each strand was wrapped around wire.

All I could wonder, was she dying to wash her hair and curl up with HGTV? How long was it going to take to get all that crap back out? How is she going to fit in her car? Does she have to take the bus home? Is her mom proud? Did she vote in the last election? What's the meaning of life? Why does girl on the left look like a white haired Marge Simpson? Honey I'll get you a cheeseburger if you want me to? I bet your feet hurt, they're giving pedicures over there. You totally should!

Girl didn't care. She had to make her Corolla payment, so girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

Now this guy, he made me want to punch him in the face:


Him and the other hair guy on stage really were annoying. They'd flip the hair in the air and wack at it like Edward Scissor hands. Long hair, glasses, bandanas, vests with vector graphics and bedazzles were just *too much* for me. *insert eyeroll here*

I think I complained about him too much.
I only stuck my foot in my mouth once.

Apparently they are nice guys.

Huh. Go figure. I'm sorry I just couldn't get past the wrist band that holds 4 pair of shears. I just couldn't.

I guess I tend to prefer my men with grease under their nails and calves of a 19 year old body builder. Just sayin.

So anyway, we did have fun. It was enlightening and I saw a whole other world that I never had before. The only part I hated was paying $14.50 for a crappy sandwich, a cookie and a can of orange crush. That's the part were I wanted to stab my own eyes out.

I think next time, I would get more "fashionable" "sensible" shoes. That don't squeak. (do those exist?) And a better hair color. And lose 50 pounds.

Oh in a perfect world!

1 comment:

Tracy said...

HAHAHA Love your post title.
I am pretty simple with my style, my girls will vouche for that.
I agree, I don't want my man to take longer than me to get ready to go out LOL.

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